Group Hug!

In a previous post about my job hunt I mentioned weaknesses, I guess this is where my blog shows how my brain crosses paths and ideas together. I’m still trying to push myself to not care what others think when it comes to my own decisions.

I guess that it what has put me off talking about my intentions to compete in a fitness competition, initially bikini or figure. That is partially down to the images people have of female bodybuilders that take steroids.

It is something that is out of my comfort zone, I’m a Leo and according to the traits of my sign I’m supposed to love attention. I hate it. I think this would be a great test of character, empowering and give me the confidence to be more out there.

Who knows what it could lead on to?

Before I decide whether I’m able to do this I’m going to attend a few competitions, I guess to scope out my future competition and assess my ability.

I received this Tweet today from a follower when I said I go to the gym daily. “woah that’s intense, your diet and lifestyle must be so disciplined esp as u play video games too *bows down* u have my respect Ü”. (Yes, I’m a gamer too).

It’s supportive messages like that, that help you on your journey, whether people know your goals or not. There is such a great community out there, where would we be without the internet? *group hug*


Me? An Athlete?


I had my fat percentage measured yesterday. We all know about women, numbers and weight, right?

I’ve religiously been working out daily since February and I weighed and measured my body fat on a stand alone machine at the gym. That said I was 25% body fat although I’d take that with a pinch of salt as the next time I used it (wearing the same trainers) , it said I’d grown taller. According to the American Council on Exercise (not an official government agency) that 25% is average.

My weight hasn’t changed through working out but my body shape has, my clothes fit differently and RIP to my old bras. Yesterday I  braved another test, this time using a Lloyds Pharmacy Body Handheld Composition. Apparently more accurate, and now its 18%, the personal trainer said he’d estimate I was more like 14-16% as I’m quite lean but either way I’m happy. My goal is to get abs in time for Xmas.

So happy in fact, I thought I’d make cupcakes! lol

Do you have any fitness goals? How did you keep yourself motivated?

My Sanctuary


The gym is THE one place I love to go to, it’s where I escape the world, my worries, my frustrations the world. Most people sign up to a membership after Christmas gilt sets in and never set foot into the building again. Those that remain, they remain for a reason; they’re there to battle their own personal demons. Lets face it no one is made to go, its their own personal choice to go.

I still have demons, well issues (I’m not religious) I’m trying to deal with and get past. Not everything has an answer and there are various things out of my control. I’ve been going to the gym daily, the only times I haven’t been are when I’ve been bed bound or out of the country.

I’m considering taking part in a bikini/figure contest, since I’m weightlifting anyway I may as well put it to something constructive. It’s a huge test of character though, dedication, will power and confidence – something I lack. I haven’t actually told anyone it’s what I want to do – I don’t want to be judged. The first image anyone has when they think of women and weights is the steroid filled masculine looking women. That’s not the look I want.

A bikini/figure competition is penciled in on my bucket list, if I decide to compete I’ll post about it. I’ll also be asking for opinions on colours etc for the bikini I choose too!

Have you ever decided to take part in something that was challenging or a test of character for you? How did it work out?

Knowing my weaknesses

I guess through my bigger plan – which I know I haven’t really mentioned other than I’m saving for it. I guess its undisclosed is the fact that there is no definite plan. In fact I have several options each of different costs and their own requirements.

How do you commit to a plan where there isn’t one?

For now my commitment is saving.

1 step at a time, but I’ve only a limited number of steps!

I have come to the conclusion (an obvious one) that I need to earn more money and with that comes hunting for a new job. Writing a CV was challenging and the covering letter was too, see one of my weaknesses is selling myself and being confident in my abilities. Will they stand out amongst other the other applicants. Then there’s the interview!!!!! – If I even get that far.

What if I’m not good enough for the company? Are my strengths strong enough? If I’m that underwhelmed by my own documents, what will an employer think?

Am I the only one that thinks like this?

Birthdays and bucket lists

Another birthday came and went in August, I spent part of it on a beach in Barbados and then on an Aeroplane. Not my first choice although this was remedied through a good old knees up back in England! Whenever a birthday is due or a new year arrives I always think about things I want to achieve or do, then everyday life comes along and ruins it all. Not to mention impulsive spending.

This year its different, honestly it really is. I’m not getting any younger and various things on my bucket list are age restrictive!!!! See it really is different this time!

So what have I actually done differently? Well I’ve opened a savings account and I’m actually actively adding money to it. So far I’ve made £22.65 through using Quidco a website that gives you cash back for purchasing through them, that has one in the pot.

I’ve listed a few items on eBay so fingers crossed they’ll sell!! I have a number of people watching items, I know I’ve watched items previously and forgotten about them!! Think positive!! I must keep a positive mantra!!

I also have an account through Halifax that pays you £5 a month for depositing a thousand pounds into the account. This also goes straight into the savings account.

I’m debating other venues so hopefully I’ll have other money making schemes that aren’t too taxing.

As for my list, well I’ll keep it close to my chest for now!